


Cut Me Up, Break Me (Beat My Heart To Death)

by Jen425



Category: Kamen Rider - All Media Types, Kamen Rider Decade, Kamen Rider Zi-O, Tokusatsu
Genre: Actual Tsukasa is here but mostly this is a civvie AR Tsukasa, Angst, Axesuke’s Tsukasa, Developing Relationship, M/M, Mental Breakdown
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-16 13:13:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29825463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jen425/pseuds/Jen425
Summary: Yuusuke tries to be a good person. And then he loses his inspiration to.Or: the before during and after of how an Onodera Yuusuke could be twisted to murderous
Relationships: Kadoya Tsukasa/Onodera Yuusuke
Comments: 9
Kudos: 11





	Cut Me Up, Break Me (Beat My Heart To Death)

**Author's Note:**

> This is inspired by another fic I read with similar premise (Axesuke has a Tsukasa) but I decided that I’m soft, so instead of making Axesuke evil from the start, I broke him!

Tsukasa is dead. Tsukasa is  _ dead _ .

A million emotions run through Onodera Yuusuke’s mind in this moment, kneeling in the alleyway and holding Tsukasa’s body. But that thought keeps at the forefront.

Tsukasa is dead.

He’s gone.

And Yuusuke? Yuusuke will make the monsters who did this wish they had never been born.

  
  
  


_ Kadoya Tsukasa is a special kind of person. Yuusuke doesn’t know how to put it. He’s the kind of person who believes in you so much, even when you’re at your lowest, that you want to believe in yourself. He doesn’t come off as overbearing, or maybe he does at first, but he always helps. _

_ Yuusuke’s experienced it. When he was drowning in loss, after the fire, and then Yashiro’s death, desperate for something to fight, Tsukasa appeared. Tsukasa turned his life around, helped him move on, get a job, start over despite the tragedy. _

_ Of course Yuusuke fell in love. _

_ What surprised him was that it seemed mutual. _

_ “Why are you so interested in me?” Yuusuke asks. “You aren’t even a social worker or a guidance counselor or… anything. But you keep finding people and helping them.” _

_ Tsukasa cocks his head, snapping a picture of Yuusuke’s face before he responds, still looking at his camera. _

_ “When you take a photo on film, it takes time to develop,” he says. “You don’t know what you’ll see, not until later. But it can be something beautiful. I want to find something beautiful.” _

_ “And… what,” Yuusuke says. “You think I’m it?” _

_ Tsukasa smirks. _

_ “Maybe,” he says. “I think you do everything wholeheartedly. That’s something special…” *click* “and you have a beautiful smile.” _

  
  
  


It’s been years since Yuusuke has had to fight. Emphasis on had to. He had kept in shape, kept in practice.

He knows that when he fights, he can be brutal, and efficient.

And oh god - he  _ likes  _ it. He likes the way they cower, likes this power, this revenge for destroying the person who had made Yuusuke realize he could be good.

He doesn’t want to be good anymore.

Tsukasa is dead.

  
  
  


_ Yuusuke kisses Tsukasa, one day. He pulls him down and kisses him, deeply. Tsukasa comes back up stunned. _

_ “That was…” he says, slowly. “Yuusuke…” _

_ “I’m sorry if I read the signs wrong,” Yuusuke says. “But you mean… you mean a lot to me.” _

_ “No,” Tsukasa says. “I just… never thought someone would love me.” _

_ …how? What had happened to Tsukasa that he could imagine he was anything but inspirational. _

_ “Well, I do,” Yuusuke promises with a smile. “Because I believe in you, and you believe in me.” _

_ Tsukasa nods, gently putting a hand behind Yuusuke’s head… and he kisses him back. So carefully, like he’s afraid Yuusuke will break. _

_ Yuusuke closes his eyes and knows that this is where he belongs. _

  
  
  


His life is falling apart, again. He carefully protects what Tsukasa has given him, but when he isn’t playing at living his old life, he rages.

Tsukasa is dead.

He’ll destroy the people who hurt him. He’ll fix this, even if Tsukasa will never come back.

Slowly, however, that morphs into a desire for the  _ power _ to do so.

(Tsukasa is dead.

Tsukasa is gone.

The Yuusuke he loved dies slowly, in the aftermath.)

  
  
  


_ “I’m not a good person,” Tsukasa says, quietly. Yuusuke looks up at him. _

_ “What do you mean?” He asks. _

_ “I’m not… just a photographer,” Tsukasa says. “I used to hurt people, and I liked it.” He scoots over, on Yuusuke’s bed. Tsukasa shouldn’t look small. “It took me… years, to unlearn who I used to be, but then… I told myself I’d find that in others, that potential to do better.” _

_ “Tsukasa—” _

_ “I don’t think people are perfect,” Tsukasa says. “But it took you days to turn yourself around. That’s why I believe in you.” _

_ Yuusuke doesn’t know what to say. There’s missing pieces, obviously. Tsukasa is hiding what all he’d done, surely, but… but he doesn’t care. It’s Tsukasa. Tsukasa who believes in everyone. Tsukasa who appears, wherever he’s needed with nothing but good intent. _

_ He takes Tsukasa’s hand and offers him the most comforting smile he can. _

  
  
  


When they say that the King’s Game is a chance to rule the world, the last of the Yuusuke he had tried to be melts away. He’ll have the power, now. To avenge, to undo the cause, if not the act.

He doesn’t care who dies in the process.

And he knows, immediately, that the Tsukasa here can’t be his Tsukasa. His Tsukasa was no worlds traveler. His Tsukasa was just a normal person who tried to be a good person anyways. He was kinder than this one, even.

And yet, it’s still Tsukasa.

Tsukasa is dead.

…he’ll save this Tsukasa for last, if he possibly can.

  
  
  


_ Tsukasa steps in front of Yuusuke, as the gang of men ten strong back them further into the wall. _

_ “You don’t have to do this,” he says. “Yuusuke is innocent, I’m the one who hurt you.” _

_ “You ruined our fucking lives, bastard!” One of them yells. Tsukasa doesn’t move. _

_ “I know,” he says. “So punish me. Or are you worse than me, to harm anyone but a target.” _

_ The others pause. _

_ “…Okay,” the ringleader says. “But we’ll make him watch. We’ll make sure he knows what you are,  _ **_Great Leader._ ** _ ” _

_ Great Leader? Yuusuke turns to Tsukasa, who doesn’t move until he’s dragged forwards. As in the Great Leader of… _

_ “I’m sorry, Yuusuke,” Tsukasa says. And Yuusuke is forced to watch as eight of the ten beat Tsukasa far past unconsciousness, hear his aborted cries of pain fade away. _

_ Tsukasa… is  _ **_dead._ **

  
  
  


“You’re no the Onodera Yuusuke I know,” the other Tsukasa says, and in Yuusuke’s head, he laughs.

_ And you’re not my Tsukasa, _ he thinks.  _ My Tsukasa is dead. _

**Author's Note:**

> For anyone confused on AUkasa’s story, Dai-Shocker still exists but it’s somewhere between a cult and a criminal organization and most of its victims don’t care that Tsukasa was groomed and also left and worked to unlearn everything and become a better person
> 
> Find me on Tumblr @flaim-ita or @dancingqueen-mai for just Toku edits


End file.
